Posted in latest posts

I Can’t Stop Thinking About the #SexStrike

Alyssa Milano’s #SexStrike is concerning for a lot of reasons, starting with how only women are centered in the debate. It also ignores an unfortunate reality. It is simply not an option for those in an abusive relationship.

There are many good reasons why Milano’s sex strike sparked a controversy on social media. Unfortunately, much of the discussion ignores how this choice doesn’t play out practically in the real world, and is simply not an option for those in an abusive relationship.

It also centers women in a conversation that must strive to be more inclusive. If you are concerned about topics like abortion, and intimate partner violence, move away from centering women and include others who also deserve to be part of that conversation. We must become allies not adversaries.

Apart from being grossly manipulative, this strike strikes me as naive in how power dynamics work in actual relationships. It reinforces the notion that marginalized bodies are commodities. While sex strikes have been known to work when seeking a specific goal, bartering sexual favors in exchange for recognition of equality strikes me as unattainable.

Likewise, a stance asking marginalized people to fraternize only with those of like mind ignores the reality that “woke” individuals are sometimes not much better than their counterparts. It’s easy to proclaim you are an ally. Actions always speak louder than words. Far too often someone reveals their true colors only after they have attained their goal. Once in an abusive relationship, it is incredibly difficult to get out.

Can a sex strike force someone to recognize a marginalized person’s inherent equality and humanity? Better yet, what is the cost if you are wrong?

The numbers on intimate partner violence are staggering. According to NCADV, intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime. One in four women, and one in seven men, have been victims of severe physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner.

One of five women and one in 71 men have been victims of rape at the hands of intimate partners. These are just the numbers for those who report these crimes.

According to the CDC, intimate partner homicide accounts for half of the murders committed against women. Matching statistics that included all forms of intimate partner homicide are not readily available. Collectively we must also do better in incorporating all marginalized people when gathering these statistics. The economic impact is real as well.

Violence as a byproduct of male rage isn’t limited to intimate partner relationships. The United States has the highest number of mass shootings, and 54 percent of them are tied to misogyny and intimate partner violence.

I don’t know how to change an entire culture that devalues so many but asking already marginalized people to change it by placing their bodies and lives at risk doesn’t strike me as the answer.

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Posted in healthcare, latest posts

I’m a Bitch, I’m a Lover, I’m a Sister

“You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.” Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus

It was the summer of 1997 and I was freshly out of law school, studying for the bar while working in a lawyer’s office, and being stalked by my ex-boyfriend. My beloved older sister was eight months pregnant with her first child at 44 years old.

At the time I lived about two hours away from my family who lived in rather close proximity to my ex-boyfriend. I was “back home” visiting him in one of our attempts to put things back together or at least be friends when I got the phone call from my brother-in-law. He had to take my sister to the hospital and the news wasn’t good. I’m on the way I quickly said and left immediately. Parenthetical, my ex did not come with me he was very aloof with my family and friends. Only later would I realize how significant those signs were at the time.

I walked into the hospital waiting room and approach my brother-in-law with a pit in the bottom of my stomach. The look on his face said it all. He starts preparing me for the bad news. The bad could be worse but not by much.

Continue reading “I’m a Bitch, I’m a Lover, I’m a Sister”

Posted in commentary, latest posts, Sports

ESPN is Lost and so are We

Editor’s note: This article was originally posted on our sports website and has been republished here.

ESPN ignited a controversy this past week with it’s handling of a situation involving Jemele Hill, a black woman who co-anchors the SportsCenter desk (The Six for it’s 6 pm slot) for the company along with Michael Smith, a black man. Ordinarily these definers might seem strange but we live in strange times. They are important because racism still exists and is bolstered by our current political climate.

Hill drew the ire of many folks, seemingly including her employer ESPN, with a series of tweets about our current President, Donald J. Trump. Not only do I invite you to read these tweets I beg you to read the entire threads because within these threads lie our collective truth.

Continue reading “ESPN is Lost and so are We”

Posted in commentary, latest posts, Sports

Titans Should Sign Colin Kaepernick #TitanUp

The Tennessee Titans were curb stomped Sunday in Houston in a Week 4 loss to a division rival, losing to the Texans 57-14. The score was bad but the news from the game was even worse. Quarterback Marcus Mariota suffered a hamstring injury late in the second quarter and did not return. He is scheduled for an MRI today.

Enter backup quarterback Matt Cassel, a 13 year veteran who has been the Titans backup since 2016. The results were disastrous. He would finish four of 10 for 21 yards, two interceptions, including one pick six, and a sack fumble. The remainder were three and outs. Details below.

First drive 3 and Out

Second drive 3 and Out

Third Drive Interception

Continue reading “Titans Should Sign Colin Kaepernick #TitanUp”

Posted in latest posts

Titans Tape Tapas Week 1 #Raiders

From our sports site

Sports By Sharona

The Tennessee Titans entered the season widely expected to take the next step and make a serious run at top tier teams in the NFL like the New England Patriots. Week 1 yielded a lot of wild results including a Patriots loss to the Kansas City Chiefs so perhaps it can be forgiven that the Titans lost their first game to the Oakland Raiders 26-16. So let’s take a look at the stats and some tape and see what we learned shall we?

EDITOR’S NOTE: (That’s me, Sharona) There may be typos in these tweets that cannot be fixed because twitter can’t get right.

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